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May 22 2018

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heathyr:

rebeccapollard97:

Elephant Rock, Iceland

This is an old god, sleeping

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monkey-network:

crowell69:

POWER MOVE

“Not now, Mr. Disk, the adults are talking”

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toue-company:

walkingfoxy:

look at this fat raccoon 

It is i

altarforpeace:

I have this friend who starts all of his snap stories with “hey guys what’s up… it’s ya mothafuckin boi, we out here” and now I’ve started saying it regularly

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the-love-of-snakes:

He’s such a goof

wumblr:

before-i-change-my-mind:

y'all 99% of the time: why is everything on the news negative?? news channels should report positive news too!

y'all today: how dare they focus so much reporting on the royal wedding for one (1) day, don’t they care about all the IMPORTANT things going WRONG

when i say i want positive news i mean like … “species brought back from the brink of extinction in 2018” … “teen genius invents new ocean filtration system to remove microplastics” … “jeff bezos found dead in miami” … “nerds discover weird pattern in prime numbers”

not like “imperialists spend 300 million on wedding party”

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vriskanon:

wizardshark:

vriskanon:

🅱️LIZZARD 🅱️LEASE

HOLY FUCK BLIZZARD HOW COULD YOU NOT INCLUDE THIS

The thing that gets me about this

The thing that really GETS ME GOING IS

Each sentence is so much wilder than the last

“A female russian hero” Yes good

“She would be riding a bear and duel-wielding AK47s” FUCK YES that’s some wild fucking shit

“Her ultimate would be for the bear to also pull out dual AK47s”

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otarsus:

This is the best D&D

chinolajuice:

aestheticlovers:

chinolajuice:

I love seeing carefree fat girls enjoying themselves

You could say “big” or “thick” girls and not fat

Anyway like I said I love seeing carefree fat girls enjoying themselves

william-snekspeare:

There are only 2 genders:

- snakes

- lizards

slimegargoyle:

i’m not gonna finish reading this post because nothing it could possibly say is going to top this analogy 

LOUD GUN

dr-shrubbery:

meowmix-i:

bongcop:

BIG LOUD

stealth_is_optional.jpg

OH LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

scanalan:

prettydoddleoddle:

I want emo versions of idioms


Like, instead of ““you’re barking up the wrong tree” it’s “you’re panicking at the wrong disco”

You can lead a horse to Evanescence but you can’t bring him to life

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fandomsandfeminism:

dabneycoleperson:

elected officials think abandoning fire safety codes is a more reasonable solution to school shootings than gun control, so i guess satire is dead

Guns dont kill people, too many doors kill people.

tamizhnadu:

tripleclown:

ginger-ale-official:

vegasclown:

i see a komodo dragon and i think, “well that dude fucks”

hoho! this is me every time i see someone drinking a ginger ale!

are you god

you know those posts made by bots that seem like they could pass off as posts made by actual users? yeah this is like the literal inverse of that

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